The silver lining is our one year anniversary!

Be positive, find gratitude, optimism is key. Do you ever feel like the push to be positive in challenging situations is the most annoying thing? Let me wallow dammit! We are reeling from a never-ending pandemic that has changed our way of life and it is hard to not get caught up in the negative narrative. Well, buckle up because I am about to be positive but probably not too annoying. I couldn’t write this until there was an happy ending because Disney has tainted my mind into thinking that all stories are not complete without a happy ending. Ok, I take it back, I’m annoying.

When my sweet little man, McKenzie, was just over a year old he was diagnosed with Benign Childhood Epilepsy. What does that mean? He has seizures for other reasons than a fever that are not explained. His seizures started when he was 10 months old, while in the US. I remember feeling like a black cloud the crept over the joy that I had felt since the day he was born as soon when his seizures had a diagnosis. It also meant that his impending toddler years were going to be hard. Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is hard regardless of situation you’re in but waiting for the next seizure is nerve wracking.

Fast forward to the silver lining, it has been one year since McKenzie has had a seizure! I know the last year has been hard for the most of us, however, for McKenzie it has been great. The majority of the time McKenzie’s trigger is gastroenteritis, aka a tummy bug. The sanitary world that we now live in has provided him with little to no illnesses and the opportunity for his immune system to catch up. Wouldn’t it be great if we all were celebrated for gaining 10 lbs and growing 6 inches? (I don’t remember ever growing 6 inches) Pre-covid he was always sick from little viruses, which some would say that building his immune system through exposure is key but imagine being sick, starting to feel better and then having a seizure, which feels like running a marathon. The idea of running a marathon makes me want to throw up, I cannot imagine how it would feel if you were recovering.

This milestone feels like glimmer of hope that he will grow out of epilepsy, which is common for kids who experience seizures as children. I don’t lie to myself in saying that he will never have another seizure, I reduce my anxiety by planning that he will. We have a long road ahead of us as the seizures have left their mark on McKenzie’s development. However, if you had of told me three years ago that I would have a child with epilepsy I would have told you I couldn’t do it. Like I said, every step of motherhood is challenging but from the minute McKenzie was conceived it has been hard, however, you never know what you’re capable of until you’re in it. I would move mountains for that kid and the past year has made me feel like I have.

There you have it, why I am grateful for a global pandemic and the silver linings of covid-19.